To help answer some of the many, many, many questions about
the Masked Reviewer, here is a FAQ for your enjoyment.
What is a FAQ? Excellent question. FAQ is
an acronym for Frequently Asked Questions. These questions are asked
frequently of the Masked Reviewer, and have therefore been compiled in this
FAQ so that you won't feel alone in your question asking.
Who is the Masked Reviewer? Of course, that is a
mystery. Only a few people know his secret identity, and if it were
revealed here, it wouldn't be a secret, now would it?
Why does the Masked Reviewer wear a mask? There are
many reasons. First, it conceals the Masked Reviewer's identity from
the all-powerful movie studios, who might try to influence the Masked
Reviewer's reviews by providing him with expensive gifts, cash donations, or
easy women in order to get a good review. Some studio
executives might even try to have the Masked Reviewer "roughed up" or "taken
out" if they knew who he was (of course, the Masked Reviewer knows how to
handle himself, after viewing countless martial arts films, so beware evil
movie executives!).
I think he's a coward, hiding behind his mask! Okay,
technically that's not a question. But, what about the Masked
Reviewer's family? He's not afraid for himself, but movie business is
big business and some movie studios would stoop to unspeakable evil to
prevent you, the viewing public, from hearing the truth as told by the
Masked Reviewer.
Does the mask get hot? At times, the Masked Reviewer
does get quite warm, but on the upside it is also quite a stylish mask and
very popular with the ladies.
Does he ever take off the mask? When necessary, the
Masked Reviewer removes the mask in order to blend in inconspicuously as his
secret identity. Also, it's hard to drink a milkshake while wearing
the mask.
What's his secret identity? Nice try. The Masked
Reviewer can't be tricked so easily. The Masked Reviewer's Secret
Identity Policy is to never disclose a secret identity, especially his own.
What are his credentials? Why should we listen to him?
The Masked Reviewer has an extensive background in the film industry,
including work at Miramax Films and New Line Cinema. In addition to
working in TV and interactive entertainment, he has a degree in theatre/TV/film
(notice how he spells it "theatre" not "theater", so he must
know something) and a graduate degree in communications. He's written
reviews for magazines, newspapers, and websites. He's worked in a movie
theater. And, he's seen a few movies. Is he better than every
other reviewer in the world? Some would say so (including his mother),
others might disagree (every other reviewer in the world and their mothers). But unlike most reviewers, the Masked Reviewer
has decided to move from working in film to critiquing it, in an effort to
save people from having to endure movies that should never have been made.
I think your reviews suck. Why do your reviews suck?
How can they suck so much? Well, everyone is entitled to their
opinion, but at least the Masked Reviewer isn't a big dumb stupid head.
How do you pick which celebrities you interview?
The Masked Reviewer will grant an interview to the biggest stars
and those who are willing to work for free.
