What do you get if you mix one part The Professional with one part Assassins and combine that with two parts of "People Magazine's 100 Hottest Celebrities?" 

Mr. and Mrs. Smith, that's what.

But, you probably knew that was coming, seeing as how this is a review of that movie.  You're clever that way.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are the stars of the film.  In fact, other than a bit of comic relief by Vince Vaughn, there's really no one else in the film.  Sorry, family of people who were in the film...this is all about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.  If you don't know who either of those actors are, you need to get out more.

This is the first time they've appeared together in a film since last year's epic period-piece about ancient civilizations doing battle.  Oh wait, they were in two different epic period pieces about ancient civilizations doing battle...one was in Alexander and the other was in Troy.  Well, whatever.  They probably had a lot to talk about and commiserate over, since neither of their films did as well as Gladiator, and they were probably both surprised about that. 

If you like attractive people, you may enjoy Mr. and Mrs. Smith.  They're not human.  No one should look this good.  They both play hitmen (or, hitpersons...you don't want to be politically incorrect about a woman with a lot of guns) who are very attractive.  Their attractiveness isn't part of the script, but the Masked Reviewer couldn't help but notice that they are, in fact, good looking people.  Why would a couple that looks that good be killing people for a living?  It's probably easier than modeling -- that's a very hard job, according to what they say on "America's Top Model"...or so the Masked Reviewer has heard.

Anyhoo...what's to say about the movie?  It's better than you might expect from the previews.  It's a simple premise that's stretched out for just under two hours.  They may have stretched it out a bit too much...it drags a little bit in places, but overall it's entertaining.  It devolves (or evolves, depending on your point of view) from a quirky story about "super-assassins managing their every day lives" to more or less a straight shoot-em-up for the climax of the movie.  It's at times cute, dark, funny, and sexy.  That's a good combination. 

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have great chemistry.  They're charming on their own, to be sure, and both are fun to watch individually, but they have a dynamic that works perfectly for the movie.  There's something going on there.  Clearly, they've had sex.  Lots and lots of sex.  With each other.  It was probably great sex, too.  They look like two people who have had lots of sex with each other, but are trying to act like they haven't yet...but their acting isn't good enough to convince the Masked Reviewer that they haven't had lots of sex.  If Jennifer Aniston is reading this, sorry.  It must be hard for you.  But, it's time to move on with your life. 

Before the lawyers start calling, the Masked Reviewer must point out that he has no first-hand proof that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have had sex but...c'mon.

Vince Vaughn does a good job in his relatively small role.  He gets a couple of good lines, and is especially funny when he becomes more high-strung and paranoid.  He must be a laugh riot when he's strung out on coke.  That is to say, if he ever gets strung out on coke, which probably never happens.  Sorry, Vince Vaughn's mom.

The interesting thing about most of the comedy in the movie is that it's not really jokes, per se.  There's a bit of clever writing in the dialogue, but most of the humor is situational, or a wry look or action.  There's some...shall we say...rather amusing domestic violence that wouldn't be funny at all in another context.  But here, it's a hoot.

The action segments are fine, but standard.  The fighting seems to be pulled right out of the Sears catalog (in the gunfight department, next to the lawnmowers).  It's used to further the story, which in turn is used to give face time to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.  The individual pieces of this film are all kind of unimpressive, but as a whole, the movie is greater than the sum of its smaller things that make up the whole of the movie. 

There were a few points of dialogue that were hard to understand, and the music got repetitive quickly.  Also, there was quite a bit of shaky camera work, sloppy fast cuts, and other technical imperfections that made things harder to follow than they needed to be.

Director Doug Liman, who you may remember from such films as The Bourne Identity and Swingers, has managed to capture some of the feel of the former in this movie...although it's a comedy rather than a spy-thriller, it has that same herky-jerky-merc feel. 

This wasn't a bad film at all, and while it has its flaws, it's fun.  If you are a big fan of either Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt, you'll enjoy this one.  If you find either one to be a person you don't like to stare at on screen for two hours, then you should pass, since the story and action aren't good enough to stand on their own.  Vince Vaughn doesn't have enough of a role to justify seeing the movie just for him (if you hate Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie), but most people will find this to be an enjoyable popcorn movie. 

Expectation from the Title: The year is 1941 and a married couple discover that their multi-year marriage was never valid.  It's a comedy, by Hitchcock.  This must be the remake....more or less.

Mother's Rule (Always Say Something Good About Everything):  If Bradd Pitt and Angelina Jolie looked any better, the movie would burst into flames, and that would cause quite a hassle.

The Pros: Attractive, charming, funny stars.  Several good laughs. 

The Cons: Action segments uninspired, some shaky camera work and sound that's less than perfect.  No nudity.  A bit longer than it should have been.

Looking for Bradd Pitt, or Brad Pit, or Angaline Jollie or Angelina Jollie or Angelina Joley or Vince Vaugn for Mr & Mrs Smith?  This is it.