If you don't know who Will Smith is, you haven't been to the movies in the last ten years.  With such blockbusters to his credit as Men in Black, Bad Boys, Independence Day, Wild Wild West, I, Robot (that last one is just one movie), Men in Black II, Bad Boys 2, and The Legend of Bagger Vance (which had nothing to do with the baggers in supermarkets, a sadly overlooked group in American cinema), Will Smith has established himself as a premiere box office draw.  And he had a hit TV show.  And he was a top recording artist.  But can he dance?  Yes.  He's got it all.

Co-starring with Will Smith is the Hispanic hottie Eva Mendes, who you may remember from Once Upon a Time in Mexico, Out of Time, All About the Benjamins (which had nothing to do with Franklin, Stiller, or Affleck), Exit Wounds, and Stuck on You.  She's pretty hot, if you like that kind of thing.

The other co-star is Kevin James (no relation to Rick James) who you may remember from his "hit" television show, "The King of Queens."  "Hit" is in "quotes" because nobody watches that show.  How is it a "hit"?  It's like "Everybody Loves Raymond."  That's a "hit" too.  Do you know anyone who loves Raymond?  Exactly.  But nonetheless, Kevin James is a funny guy.  He's heavy, yet graceful.  He's like Jackie Gleason, only he doesn't enjoy beating puppies with umbrellas.  Sure, Kevin James will do it once in a while, but he never enjoys it.

This is for all intents and purposes Kevin James's'ss's first feature film.  He is credited as "factory worker" in 50 First Dates.  The Masked Reviewer saw that movie.  He doesn't remember Kevin James.  He doesn't remember a factory.  He was probably cut out, or just plain forgettable.  But not so in Hitch.

Hitch is a comedy.  Not only that, it's a romantic comedy.  The romance is downplayed somewhat, but what's still in there is done well.  Will Smith is a smooth operator and he shares some valuable stylistic tips in this movie.  It's about relationships and dating and, all in all, it's well done.  There are some good laughs.  This is surprising, because the previews look pretty bad...somewhat slap-sticky, lame jokes, etc.  The trailers don't do it justice.  That's not to say that Hitch is a masterpiece; at best, it's a fun diversion.  There aren't too many memorable moments in the movie, but while you're watching it, you're likely to find it more or less a good time.  That will be especially true if you like Will Smith...he's at his most charming in this one.  He's more of a straight man than he usually is, so there's less Fresh Prince wackiness to enjoy.  Kevin James is the wacky one; he does the bumbling, awkward, nerdish guy, and he's good at it. 

Eva Mendes is fine, although her character isn't entirely likeable in the movie.  It's one of those unusual circumstances where it's hard to feel sympathetic for her character because she is mostly to blame.  Still, she seems to get along well with Will Smith, though their relationship is more like giggling school kids than red-hot romantic interests.  Even so, it's nice.

Here are a few of the annoying elements of the movie.  First, Will Smith talks directly to the camera once in a while, mostly at the beginning of the movie.  That doesn't work particularly well.  You may find yourself shouting "Don't look at us!  Pay attention to what you're doing!"  It's like he's watching you...he might reach out and grab a handful of your popcorn.  Then again, that would be pretty cool. 

The other major shortfall is that if you take a date to this movie, you'll look bad.  He plans a couple of absolutely great dates, and if you're there with a girlfriend, comparisons will be made.  "Oh, Will Smith went through all that trouble to win Eva Mendes' heart...and you took me to see a movie.  Gee, thanks Honey.  It's a matinee, too." 

You'll want to get Hitched with Will Smith and Eva Mendes.  And Kevin James.  At least, if you don't expect too much out of it, you will.  As a light romantic comedy, it's better than you might expect.  Not great, though.  Overall it's an average movie, but because it's slightly better than you expect it to be from the previews, the Masked Reviewer will give it a smiley mask.

Unfortunately, now that you know it's better than you should expect, you might expect it to be better than it is, but let the existential philosophers figure that one out.

Expectation from the Title: The life story of the brilliant auteur behind Psycho and The Birds.  Or, it might be about a guy trying to hook up his boat trailer to the back of his Pinto.  Either way, it's a classic.

Mother's Rule (Always Say Something Good About Everything):  If ever there was a snappy dresser, it's Will Smith.

The Pros: Better than you might expect, a few funny scenarios, things that look lame in the previews play well in the movie.  A few nice romantic moments.

The Cons: Not a laugh riot, kind of long, Eva Mendes plays a not entirely likeable character, the chemistry is more buddy-buddy than hot-n-steamy.

If you're looking for Eva Mendez or Wil Smith or information about Hich or Kevin Smith, you're probably in the wrong place, just not very good at spelling.